We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.
~ Anais Nin

And some of us, are made up of crazy.
Some of us...have our own little demons, carrying around bags full of crazy to sell.
Okay...to be more specific than "some of us"...I'm talking about me here.
As if you didn't know.

And then are people like TheRammerHammer.
Amazing.
Not only has he carried me to and from the vomit room/bedroom.
He's rubbed my back and arms and legs when the pills haven't helped the aching.
He's let me sleep, when I needed to sleep, no matter what the hour of day.
And when I've woke up at various mid-night hours/or been unable to sleep altogether...and cried (read that as sobbed like a little girl) about missing Daisy or my zoo or my friends and family...he's held me and listened and soothed me...even though it left him with vey little sleep and an early alarm for school the next day.
He's obliged my whims of what-kinda-sounds-like-it-might-taste-good run(s) to the grocery store...and not batted an eye, when I had a little bit and then immediately turned away for fear that even glancing at it, let alone taking another bite, might make me puke.
He's walked a Moby, fed a Moby and played with a Moby...whenever I've been in bed and unable to.
And most importantly...he's fed my soul and lightened the weight of my heart more in the past three weeks, than any man has ever done in my entire life.
I'm baffled and lucky and thankful that he's not only willing to put up with my brand of crazy, but wants to help exorcise my demons and help me work through things that realisitcally, I should have been able to work through myself in the past 39 years and most certainly would have been more fair to him, if I'd had.
The man, is truly amazing.
I love you RammerHammer.
Far more than I ever thought and/or felt possible.

Soooo....
The RammerHammer has been telling me to write and write and write, since he came back into my life last year...and I have...sporadically on my blog here.
I'm hoping to change that.
Here on my blog anyhoo.
I'm going to try to commit to a post-a-day.
Not much to do, now that things are somewhat settled finally, so it just might be doable!

I'll begin with a long-winded randomness, since there is a lot to catch up on.
Plus, I've just been scribbling random things down on little pieces of paper, here and there that I I knew I'd want to blog about but would forget if I didn't scribble them down.
Ready?
Good.

When the RammerHammer and his Ex (I'll come up with a nifty nick-name for her eventually) first split...they did things in a more unconventional way than is the norm.
Instead of them each getting a separate apartment and having the kids bounce back and forth...they got two apartments, one where the children would stay full time and one that they could bounce back and forth from on a weekly basis.
There was a study done in the UK that concluded this was a much better solution to benefit children of separation. With the upheavel of everything else that accompanies separation, a stable home environment, could only help. Not something to be done on a forever basis...but for the first 6 months or more. By that time, apparently, one or both spouses typically are involved with new significant others and the children are more used to the idea of living with each parent separately and it makes the adjustment of them switching back and forth instead of the parents an easier one.
I'd, personally, never heard of it when TheRammerHammer first told me about it, but it sounded like it made perfect sense.
I've since, read studies that both support and are against the theory.
For me... the proof is in the pudding.
The boys seem to be much better off than the children I've seen in the past dealing with a broken home, so to speak.
Anyhoo...we planned on the adults all going back and forth here until after the school year ended and when the boys and the Ex returned from the states in July...at which time we would establish the two separate households and the boys would begin coming back and forth instead.
Yeah. "Planned" was the key word.
That didn't happen.
A week after my arrival...the Ex decided that we should just get it done and over with and begin the process now.
Which meant three days of moving things back and forth from apartment to apartment.
Wait...let me rephrase that:
Which meant *TheRammerHammer and I*, moving things back and forth from apartment to apartment.
Because, ya see it was her week with the boys at the apartment she would be permanently living in now and even though the nanny is a live-in, she (the Ex) of course, was unable to participate.
Hence...TheRammerHammer worked his ass off and I doubled up on my meds for three days and did the same.
That...was the other things I was talking about in the previous post.
Much too long to get into and a simple explanation just wouldn't have cut it.
And I paid the price of laying in bed and wishing I would just fall asleep and not wake up for a week at the very least immediately following those three days.
But TheRammerHammer took very, very good care of me and I'm somewhat recovered now.
And it's our week with the boys, here at the new apartment and things are going smoothly thus far.
Everyone loves Moby. Well, almost everyone, but I'll get into that in a moment.
Suffice it to say that everyone in this apartment and on our floor, loves Moby and Moby loves all of them!
He especially loves the accumulative and copious amounts of foods that little boys tend to drop on accident/purpose.
And if I had to guess, I'd say that he also currently loves not having to compete with taller dogs when such food is dropped and/or thrown in the puppy's general direction! Not too mention the one-on-one attention that he's being utterly spolied by and with!

Now...I give you the goofy randomness:

Blowjob Bridge was re-christened. Did you expect that it wouldn't be? Silly!
And there is now what will be known as a "Double Fist Pump The Nuts Overpass" added to the map.

Thanks to the folks that work for the TSA, which I recently found out really stands for "Thousands Standing Around", two of my four suitcases were rummaged through whilest traveling and some of my things were mysteriously missing upon my arrival here.
TheRammerHammer...got quite the kick out of and imagined the perplexed looks on the TSA's faces, regarding some of the various things I brought with me here.
Things like...a box of important Christmas ornaments, some of my favorite cooking utensils, a can of baking powder (because all I could find here last December was baking soda), a bottle of Red Creek Marinade, my favorite pair of needle-nose pliars that I've owned since I moved out when I was 16, lot's of lingerie', three freezer bags of my meds, a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch, Hemostats to clean Moby's ears, a bag of IV fluids for dehydrated puppies and kitties I plan on rescuing here, some Cattle wormer (which incidentally is one of the things that was missing), my rooster and chicken salt & pepper shakers, Coco of course (although thanks to TheRammerHammer, it may have been pointless to bring him to the other side of the world!)...among others...
Yeah...it was probably the oddest assortment of things the TSA has seen in awhile.
Then again...maybe not.
Sounds like it would actually be an awesome and interesting blog...if anyone reading this happens to work for them...I'm just sayin' is all.

Next up: a recent late night conversation with TheRammerHammer ended with "Damn vertibrates are so inflexible!" Yeah...about made me pee my pants. I love this man and his humor is tailor fit to suit me just fine.

Back to everyone loves Moby.
This isn't entirely true.
Most of the locals...which consists of many, many nationalities...are actually very afraid of Moby.
They jump ten feet up and away, when the elevator doors open and they first realize he's present...and they really freak out when they jump ten feet straight up but there's no 'away' to jump to when they're in the elevator and we're waiting to get on!
They also cross to the other side of the street when we're on his daily walks.
It's quite comical.
Although I did get a woman from Bengladesh to actually pet him in the lobby the other morning.
The language barrier was an issue...but with some hand signs I was able to get her to understand that he just wanted to smell her and not bite her. Now she's in the lobby and wanting to pet him, everyday for his One O'clock walk.
This makes him not only a world traveler now...but also...a Good Will Em-Basset-or!!!
Oh yes.
Somewhere inside of yourself...you knew I would go there.
Thankfully...my brand of humor suits TheRammerHammer to a 'T' as well!
I can only imagine that if these people are scared of little, ol' Moby...okay, fine...a 43lb Basset Hound...they are going to be deathly afraid when the OzzyFozzyWalder arrives!

It's the desert here. Lot's of brown to look at.
I drool when I'm out on the balcony and I see the little garden balcony oasis's's's's around us, although there aren't that many.
TheRammerHammer bought me some planter pots and seeds the other day...so soon, I'll have some green in our little sea of brown. I can't wait!!!

And speaking of balconies...I need some help from city folk.
Frugal city folk.
Very frugal city folk.
Most people send their dirty laundry to be cleaned.
I don't and probably never will.
They have washers here...but not dryers.
Dryers aren't necessary.
You simply hang stuff out on a laundry-hangy-thingy on the balcony and viola! Things are dry within the hour.
'Cause it's the desert and all.
Problem I'm having...even with the liquid Downy...things still turn out pretty stiff.
Too stiff to my liking.
There's only two things I like stiff. Cocks and Tails. Yes. Combined and separate.
Anyone with the soft(er) laundry secrets to spare?
(Crossing fingers!)

Suduko - Daisy taught me how to do this last December for my long flight here. I started doing the one in the local paper each day since my arrival, when I can't sleep at night but I want to be quiet so as not to wake TheRammerHammer. Figured it can only help keep my mind sharp right? Nope. I was wrong. They tend to make me feel more stupid. I've yet to not screw up and finish a difficult one and I absolutely hate when I screw up a super-easy one.

Oh and since I can't find the other paper with the longer scribbled list right now...I'll end with this little doosey:
The Ex gave their nanny...a devout catholic, 40 year old, uber-sweet Fillipino woman...a box of condoms... and then told her she needed to get a boyfriend. And not a new, un-opened box of condoms...a box that she (the Ex) and her boyfriend had bought prior to her going back on the pill. The reason, although she didn't say this part to the nanny...is so that when her (the Ex's) boyfriend A comes to spend the night, the nanny can have somewhere else to go after she puts the boys to bed.
Yeah...it might take a little time to come up with a really, really, really nifty nick-name for this twit.
Ooops. Did I just type that for real?
My bad. I think.

Hope everyone is well;)