There are days when I swear I could fly like an eagle
And dark desperate hours that nobody sees
My arms stretched triumphant on top of the mountain
My head in my hands...down on my knees
~ J. Bon Jovi, B. Falcon

Today, my arms are stretched out... although I'm not quite on top of a mountain.
Better than I have been lately though.

Main problem here as of late, is the purging of my belongings.
I love Spring Cleaning. Ya feel good after Spring Cleaning.
Sifting through things and deciding the fate of said things because you have to though, is a different story altogether.

It's been a good couple of days though since the entry on the old blog.

For one thing, I realized that Coco and I haven't had a date in quite some time.
And I get sexually frustrated quite easily, which just makes everything else worse.
At least it does in my world. lol.
Suffice it to say, that I'm not anymore.
Heh heh.

Which got me to thinking, of course, how much I miss the RammerHammer.
It's been a little over three months since we've been together.
And I miss everything about him, sexually and otherwise.
But sexually speaking, I miss him. All of him.
This long distance stuff sucks major ass.
And it will suck even worse if I'm unable to join him until September.
But I cannot think about that right now.
Yeah. I miss him baaaaaaaadddddddd!
The feel of him, the sound of his voice and breathing, the touch of him, touching him.
Oy.
Everything.
All of this, of course turned me on, which led to the above aforementioned well spent time with Coco...but it also got me to thinking about blow jobs.
Yep. Blowjobs.
Let's talk about 'em for a minute, shall we?
In the words of one of my favorite comedians, whose name, thanks to chemo brain, I cannot remember...but I digress...
Blowjobs.
---"They're why 40 year old men, date 20 year old girls...
Picture the blonde, bubble head, twisting her hair casually between her fingers, with empty eyes and an even emptier brain (even emptier, well that doesn't really make sense huh? Me thinks getting away from the Midwest, might improve my grammer...at least I hope it does!) saying, "Really? Everybody does it??...Okay."
"Meanwhile, the woman that's been married to the same man for 20 years or so, is just waiting for him to slither up to her, like the reptile he has become, and make that little request, just so she can say, "Fine. But you're mowing the lawn when we're through ya bastard!"---
Yeah, I remember hearing that on a HBO special during a 2am feeding, after Daisy was born and about pee'd my pants and woke up the neighbors because I laughed so hard and so long.
But that's not the point of all this.
What I realized... is that I missed giving blowjobs.
Back at the end of the S and I, blowjobs were scarce. I just didn't feel the same about him and thus giving him blowjobs. All the lying and cheating changed everything, and I remember just feeling degraded whenever I did...so they, or should I say *I*, began slacking off and I really didn't give a shit.
Then...when the RammerHammer and I got together, the first time, I fell back on the bed in dismay and yelled, "Sonofabitch!"
Which, of course, perplexed him and he accordingly asked what was wrong.
And me, being the blunt person I am, couldn't help but comment, "That I was shocked about what a substantially HUGE Schvanschtooker he has, although at that time I believe I used the word 'cock'...and as little as I am, I certainly didn't think I would be able to fit all of him...in my mouth. Which sucked (no pun intended) because I've been known to have the ability to suck a watermelon through a garden hose."
Thankfully, it turned out not to be an issue at all...which is why we hungrily christened the new bridge in Dubai...Blowjob Bridge;)

But yeah. Damn I miss him:(
Okay. Enough of that or I'm gonna start crying and it will ruin my pretty good day thus far.

Next up: Packing.

1) Since coming out of meno-pause and having the never-ending bleedfest that I'm having, I've come to two conclusions.
A) While in meno-pause, I didn't miss menstrual cycles and all that they entail...at...all.
B) I throughly enjoyed going commando 24/7, 7 days a week, for almost 2 years straight.

What do these two things have to do with packing you ask?
Well...I'm really glad that I didn't just ditch all my thong underware and now that I'm sifting and packing...for a girl that didn't wear PANTIES (That one's just for you Beej!) for almost two years straight...I have A LOT of freaking underware!!!!

2) Before really sifting through things, last week, I pulled out my two suitcases and packed them, as if I was leaving the very next day.
This is my process of packing.
I pack weeks in advance.
Then I wait awhile and go back through again and rethink what I can live with and without, for however long I'm going to be gone.
Then I do it a third time...at which point, it's usually time to really leave, thus the suitcase is substantially lighter.
I know. Lengthy and somewhat complicated process with what most will consider unnecessary extra steps...but it works for me.
And today, I had a BIG moment. One of which to be proud...
Okay...maybe only Random will be able to understand and be proud of me...

I actually removed not one...not two...but three pairs of shoes from one of my suitcases today and put them in one of the boxes to be mailed at a later date.
Yes.
Three pairs.
Yes.
This is HUGE for me.

You see...most airlines allow two suitcases and one carry-on. I'm probably going to end up taking 3 or 4 suitcases (depending on the garage-sale income) because I'm really paranoid about mailing stuff to other countries for fear of things being forever lost.
Hence, I figure two suitcases of clothes/shoes.
Okay...mostly shoes and then whatever clothes will fit.
Stop laughing.
And one suitcase of momento's and knick-knacks and little doo-dad thing of a ma-jiggers that are important to me and one suitcase full of pictures.
Yes. Pictures.
I am a picture taking fool and I just don't trust mailing all of my pictures, fearing that they will get ruined somehow or lost.
Go ahead. Have your A-Ha moment.
This is just one of the reasons that supports the name of my new blog!

Hope everyone is well;)